Back in the Co-leading Swing of it (2011 Oct 12)

Last Sunday I had my second chance at co-leading at church with Glen. I had two week’s notice after the schedule came out, and we settled on the final setlist a few days later so I had enough time to practice. I showed up to our first practice with a guitar which Glen then lovingly suggested I did not play this time around. At first the thought of leading worship without an instrument to hide behind terrified me – not because I am one with my instrument and cannot bear to be without it – me and my guitar are really not well acquainted enough even after all these years. The main reason for the wave of fear was that every single worship leader at our church plays the guitar and I just don’t feel equipped to blaze a new trail with the voice-only thing…


Anyway, Glen was pretty sure I needed to not play – which I must say was simultaneously scary and a relief. I am not good enough at guitar to be turned up in the mix.  We practiced very quietly at Glen’s work place, not wanting to disturb the neighbouring offices. Then we practiced again at VC Wanchai (woot woot). The multifunction room there felt like a fishbowl. People kept walking past and looking in to see what we were up to. I got real intimidated and when that happens my voice box likes to fold up and go for a dive down my throat. Not good. No way to recover once that has happened. I remember thinking to myself I was feeling more nervous practicing in the MFR that day than I did when I sang BVs for Martin Smith.


Went home in a quiet state of freakout and knew I had no one to turn to but God – as uncomfortable as this is, it is the best pace to be. Spent the next day in prayer and getting centered again – always good to remind self that the only approval needed comes from God – if He’s in it, it will be fine, if not, then not. I felt that he was in it, and yes, it went fine. At the end of the day, the church sang to God and I didn’t get in the way of it, so I think that’s okay.


Okay, the truth is I am falling asleep at the keyboard and that thinly veiled excuse to wrap up sucked. Can’t write any more. Laterz…

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